Monday, May 29, 2006


Times are tough at work. My supervisor left due to the abusive environment (see below). In her absence, a very ambitious senior staffer is looking to take duties out of my hands and use them to create an empire inside the Nonprofit. Ambiguities are in play all around; because they weren't dealt with before my supervisor left, Mr. Ambition is using them and my non-descriptive title to play games. He wants to be the savior of the organization, and to do it by manipulating my turf.

This is a learning ground for me. I am face-to-face with not only classic power games in which I must learn to manuever, but I'm face-to-face with my own shorcomings.

My self esteem has always been based on my intelligence and creativity. That's warped somewhat as I've aged into wanting to be the sole source of creativity and intelligence. These are my buttons. I have to learn not to let them be pushed.

I was told that I was to be responsible for the "day-to-day operations" of my Big Project, while Mr. Ambition would take control of "overall strategy." My strategy: to keep him blind to the fact that there are no "big decisions." They're all "little decisions." Since the Nonprofit has no overall strategy, let him run around and try to make one. In the meantime, I will make it work and claim credit for it.

Sure, Mr. Ambition, you win. I surrender. You take care of that big picture strategy. Just let me run it all.


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